Thursday, 25 April 2013


Why now, with just three assignments to go until the end of two courses, have I been hit by a great wave of apathy? A quick bit of maths has informed me that, whether I score 35% or 100% for my next piece of creative writing, I'll still only get a pass 2 for the course (provided my final, separately marked piece scores over 70). So I'm tempted to put in the minimum effort and save my best for last. Actually, it wasn't a quick bit of maths - it was lots of pieces of paper and a calculator, and it's interesting that I was willing to put in lots of effort to see how little work I could get away with. I'm also starting to leave everything until the last minute. I'm meant to be e-mailing my children's literature tutor with a plan for my final piece, but I've not even decided which books to use. I have a horrible feeling I'm getting bored with it all. I'm hoping that a few months off and a new topic in September will be enough to engage my interest again. 

Actually, it's not just OU work that's filling me with can't-be-bothered-ness. Trying to catch up with the hours of tv that have been recorded while I've been studying, the Husband kindly asked me to choose what to watch. 'I don't mind,' I answered, which, he tactfully pointed out, was said in a very 'I don't care,' kind of way. But I didn't care. He could have deleted the whole lot, including the gruesome and somewhat disturbing serial-killing thing I've been glued to, and I wouldn't have cared at all. At work, I've been praised for being adaptable and willing to change plans at a moment's notice - it's because I don't care what I'm doing, or where, or why. Don't get me wrong, I want to do a good job, and I'll work hard to do it, but other than that.... 

I want to subtract thirty years from my age, do a great shrug of the shoulders and sigh, 'Whatever...'. But I need to get a grip and stop being stupid and negative. In 35 days, my courses will be finished (35 days!! Oh blimey!) and I'll be able to read anything I want. The sun's out (shush, yes, I know it's meant to rain at the weekend...), I've been told I can help run the school library, the blossom is coming out, and life is good, so I need to stop whinging and get on with things. Okay... sigh... where's that assignment plan?

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